So, the 2014 World Cup quarter-finals: French Republic v Federal Republic of Germany Federative Republic of Brazil v Republic of Colombia Argentine Republic v Kingdom of Belgium Netherlands v Republic of Costa Rica
In 1914, it would’ve been: French Third Republic v German Empire Republic of the United States of Brazil v Republic of Colombia Argentine Republic v Kingdom of Belgium Netherlands v Republic of Costa Rica
And in 1814: First French Empire v Confederation of the Rhine State of Brazil v Viceroyalty of New Granada United Provinces of the Río de la Plata v First French Empire Sovereign Principality of the United Netherlands v Viceroyalty of New Spain
In 1714: Kingdom of France v Holy Roman Empire State of Brazil v New Kingdom of Granada Viceroyalty of Peru v Spanish Netherlands Republic of the Seven United Netherlands v Viceroyalty of New Spain
In 1614: Kingdom of France v Holy Roman Empire Governorate General of Brazil v Viceroyalty of Peru Viceroyalty of Peru v Spanish Netherlands Republic of the Seven United Netherlands v Viceroyalty of New Spain
In 1514: Kingdom of France v Holy Roman Empire Indigenous peoples of what is now Brazil v Province of Tierra Firme Indigenous peoples of what is now Argentina v Habsburg Netherlands Habsburg Netherlands v Indigenous peoples of what is now Costa Rica
(All of this was “researched” by quickly looking at Wikipedia, so, y’know, sorry, actual historians. Feel free to correct me.)
During the 2006 World Cup, when I was living in Berlin, Call a Pizza, a pizza delivery place, did a special pizza for all of the teams. I wrote a blog post about at the time. Here is a what those pizzas looked like. I remembered this yesterday, and thought, I wonder if… and yes! they are doing it again! Kinda regret not remembering it during the 2010 World Cup now, really. This could’ve been an ongoing four-yearly feature…
First thing to note is that when you look at their pizza list: there’s no Brazilian pizza. What they have done, though, and you can see it on their main page, is the above thing, an 8-inch “pizza” with “fine cinnamon and sugar, fresh bananas, and creamy Mozzarella balls.” That sounds bloody disgusting. I really don’t like cinnamon anyway, but even taking that off wouldn’t make this any tastier. In 2006, their Brazil pizza had broccoli, onions, peppers, sweetcorn and olives. Not particularly Brazilian-y.
So, let’s have a look at the others, shall we?
Pizza Germany: margherita with double salami A simple pizza. No nonsense. Also, exactly the same as the Deutschland pizza in 2006.
Pizza Chile: margherita with ham, mushrooms, artichoke, olives, and pepperoni Are any of these relevant? I don’t know.
Pizza Belgium: curry sauce, Edam, fried curry chicken breast, pineapple, and cheese Okay, the first sign that we are dealing with a madman of a chef. For one thing, Edam is Dutch, not Belgian. And, of course, this pizza needs more waffles on it.
Pizza Ecuador: spicy barbecue sauce, Edam, crispy bacon, and onions In 2006, the Ecuador pizza had ham, mushrooms, and jalapeños.
Pizza Croatia: margherita with ham, pineapple, and cheese In 2006, the Croatia pizza was exactly the same as the 2014 Ecuador pizza, except without the Edam. That makes sense.
Pizza Switzerland: fine tomato sauce, Edam, Gorgonzola, Hirtenkäse, and creamy Mozzarella That’s a lot of cheese. Only difference between this and the 2006 one is they’ve replaced Feta with Hirtenkäse.
Pizza Japan: margherita with tuna and onion Exactly the same as 2006.
Pizza Ghana: margherita with ham, spinach, and a fried egg Now that’s a pizza! Way better than the Ghana pizza in 2006: honey mustard sauce, cheese, chicken, mandarins, and mozzarella
Pizza Greece: margherita with seafood and fresh garlic I don’t like the word “seafood” here. Too vague.
Pizza England: margherita with crispy bacon and fried egg Obviously. And the same as 2006.
Pizza Portugal: margherita with salami, ham, fresh mushrooms, and pepperoni I’m not really feeling the occasional use of the word “fresh” at Call a Pizza. It seems to highlight that the other stuff isn’t fresh. In 2006, it was ham, spinach, and egg.
Pizza Colombia: margherita with ham and fresh mushrooms I feel obliged to say “what: no cocaine!?” here.
Pizza Argentina: margherita with spicy beef, onions and cheese on top Same as 2006. Beef. Argentina. Well done.
Pizza Australia: with fine tomato sauce and baked Mozzerella, and topped with Serrano ham, rocket, and fresh grated Grana Padano Last time it was Mozzarella, rocket, Parma ham, parmesan. So pretty much the same, just with fancier descriptions.
Pizza Côte d’Ivoire: margherita with onions, fresh peppers, broccoli, sweetcorn, and olives in 2006, they went for spicy beef, sweetcorn and jalapeños.
Pizza Italy: margherita with red onion, fresh cherry tomatoes, topped with pesto and fresh grated Grana Padano Eight years ago, they kept it simple: tomato, mozzarella and fresh basil.
Pizza Spain: margherita with Tabasco sauce, pepperoni and spicy jalapeños This exact combination of ingredients was the Mexican pizza in 2006.
Pizza Iran: spicy barbecue sauce, Edam, spicy Sucuk (Turkish sausage), crispy onion, and spicy jalapeños I would like to know how many people bought the Iran pizza in 2006. It had curry sauce, “grilled curry chicken breast,” pineapple and extra cheese. As for the 2014 edition: Iran isn’t Turkey.
Pizza Algeria: spicy barbecue sauce, Tabasco sauce, Edam, grilled chicken breast, and pineapple I’ve written about every other pizza so far, so here are some more words.
Pizza Costa Rica: spicy barbecue sauce, Tabasco sauce, Edam, crispy bacon, spicy jalapeños, and crème fraîche Sounds like a spicy, sloppy feast of fun, that. Better than 2006′s ham, pineapple and extra cheese job.
Pizza Honduras: margherita, spicy pepperoni, hearty Cheddar cheese, crispy bacon, and creamy Mozzarella Not really sure if the word “herzhaftem” is referring to the Cheddar being hearty or savoury here.
Pizza United States: margherita, pepperoni, delicious beef, spicy Chester, crispy onion, cheese on top, barbecue sauce, and crispy bacon Just throw everything that’s nearby on there, Florian, that’s what they do in the States, anyway. In 2006, it was pretty similar: BBQ sauce, cheese, salami, beef, more cheese, onions and bacon
Pizza Uruguay: creamy Hollandaise, Edam, pepperoni, crisy bacon, fresh peppers, and broccoli I’ve been to Uruguay. It was very nice. Can’t remember this being similar to their cuisine, though.
Pizza Mexico: spicy barbecue sauce, Edam, pepperoni, grilled chicken breast, onions, fresh peppers, and sweetcorn Not Mexican.
Pizza Nigeria: honey mustard sauce, Edam, juicy chicken breast, sweet mandarins, and creamy Mozzarella Interestingly, this was the Ghana pizza in 2006. Because Africa is a country.
Pizza Bosnia and Herzegovina: margherita with grilled chicken breast, spinach, a creamy Hollandaise, and crispy bacon Things are just getting repeated now in slightly different configurations.
Pizza South Korea: spicy barbecue sauce, Edam, red onions, hearty/savoury Cheddar cheese, crispy bacon, topped with Block House steak pepper and crème fraîche It was tuna, onions and salami in 2006, so I guess this is a bit more adventurous.
Pizza Netherlands: with a delicate Hollandaise, Edam, fresh broccoli, delicious white asparagus, and crispy bacon A slight variation on the 2006 effort, they switched ham for bacon and added broccoli.
Pizza France: with a delicate Hollandaise, Edam, fresh mushrooms, and delicious green and white aparagus In 2006, they did Hollandaise sauce, asparagus, peppers, artichoke and cheese. Neither the 2006 or the 2014 pizzas seem very French to me.
Pizza Funghi: margherita with fresh mushrooms Now, call me unobservant, but I’ve not noticed Funghi playing at the World Cup.
Pizza Prosciutto: margherita with ham Nor have I noticed Prosciutto. I assume it’s one of those microstates like Monaco, Andorra or San Morino. Well done, Prosciutto.
Pizza Margherita: margherita, obvs Tomato sauce and Edam. And the only Queen playing at this year’s Fifa Corrupt Soccer Jubilee.
Pizza Russia: “stuffed pizza” with tomato sauce, Edam, salami, ham, fresh mushrooms, olives, and cheese on top More of a calzone than a pizza. This pizza will attack any nearby homosexuals.
Pizza Cameroon: “stuffed pizza” with spicy barbecue sauce, Edam, pepperoni, beef, red onions, fresh peppers, with spicy jalapeños, creamy Hollandaise, and cheese on top Too many ingredients, maybe?
All in all, it really just seems like they went to a warehouse and asked about a special price on everything. Having said that, I’m looking forward to checking back in with Call a Pizza in 2016.