Tonight we will hopefully see Puig hit a home run off a Barves pitcher. Here’s some ways I’d like to see him round the bases.
Walking like an Egyptian.
Crawling on hands and knees like a man lost in the desert.
Running in slow motion.
Putting each foot tip to toe in front of the other all the way around.
Miming some part of every other sport (eg. miming dribbling a basketball)
Like Charlie Chaplin.
Making Woody Woodpecker sounds.
Slow enough to perform each opera in Wagner’s Ring Cycle between each base.
Or in a completely normal Barves-approved manner that we all know is done mockingly.